Jack and Rose's Diaries
by Anime Onnanoko
Summary: Two diaries kept by husband and wife, one at war, one not, what will happen during this crisis in their lives?
1. 18th May 1917 Rose

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Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic.

18th May 1917

Dear Diary

Did you know six years and a month ago Jack and I finally docked in New York? I was so relieved to be back on dry land again. I didn't, and still don't want to see another ship for a long time. I guess that I was ever so happy that I still had Jack to get off the Carpathia with. Like I said to him I would be getting off the ship with him when it docks, it was just a different ship. Whenever I think about the Titanic, even now a feeling of sadness still washes over me. I will never forget that journey as it was where I met Jack, the love of my life. Anyway I better go I've got to make lunch.

You will never believe what has happened today, Jack got a letter, but it wasn't any letter. He's been drafted and has to go and fight in that god damned war in Europe. He can't go, he just can't. I know it's been six years but it isn't a long time and I can't come that close to losing him again, I just can't. As I write this, tears are beginning to drip down my face and I can't stop them. I'm going to go, Jack is going to come home soon and he can't see me like this.

Rose

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	2. 24th May 1917 Jack

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24th May 1917

Dear Diary

I can't believe I'm being made to go to war, I mean I can't leave her, I can't leave Rose. I don't know what I'm going do without her. I'm going to miss waking up to see her beautiful face, kissing those sweet lips, holding her, feeling her warm in my arms. As I sit here writing this she is lying peacefully asleep next to me. She looks so much like an angel, well she is, she's my angel. Her beautiful red curls spilling over the pillow, her alabaster skin, those beautiful green-blue eyes, they way her chest softly moves up and down in a rhythmic pattern. I'm going to miss everything about her, not to mention I don't even want to fight. Oh well, guess I'll be fighting to help solve a problem, but the problem is it isn't even my problem to start with. Why couldn't I have had the same job as Daniel, translating or whatever it is he's doing, but then again I don't speak French do I. Rose was the one who found the letter, she is so worried. I found her crying at the kitchen table almost a week ago, and I'm trying not to show that I'm terrified. I have to be strong for her. I don't even know if I'm even going to come back, no Jack no, don't think like that, you will come back, what would Rose do without you. It would tear her apart. But I've only got four days left with her, oh god how I'm going to miss her. Anyways I better go she's waking up.

Jack

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	3. 28th May 1917 Rose

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28th May 1917

Dear Diary

It's late and I know I should be sleeping but I can't. Jack is leaving tomorrow and I wish he didn't have to. I am going to miss him so much. I sit here trying to memorize every feature, his lovely sandy blonde hair that always falls into his eyes, so he has to flick it back, his piercing blue eyes that gaze deep into your soul, how his body feels against mine and the warmth of him lying next to me. Even after six years of being with him, I still feel my knees go weak when I look at him. I really don't know what I'm going to do without him.

But I've had such an amazing four days with him, we did everything together. I cooked him a lovely romantic meal on the 25th, and he didn't have to go to work which was relief so I could spend the whole day with him. He drew me couple of times in the back garden; we went over to the pier on the 26th just having fun sneaking kisses here and there holding hands the whole time. Afterwards Jack made dinner for me and after that we just lay on the sofa and talked, just happy being with each other. Yesterday we just took a really long walk and just talked like we would never do it again, which we might not… Then we went to a restaurant to eat dinner, before coming home and just sitting downstairs talking and kissing. And today we had dinner in an Italian restaurant which was ever so romantic, and there Jack gave me a beautiful necklace, it was J and R intertwined with a diamond on each letter. I'm not sure how he could afford this, but I was happy all the same. He told me that whenever I look at it to think about us together. I felt so bad that I didn't get him anything. He kissed me saying that just spending these last couple of days with him was enough. I felt so happy that I had found a man like Jack. We also made love every night, it was so magical.

I feel so jealous of Emma; all her husband has to do is translate something, so he has no risk of dying. I'm going to try and get some sleep seeing as this is the last night that he is here, my eyes are tearing up again, I have to stop I need to support Jack, he must be terrified about having to go to war. Jack's starting to wake up I have to go.

Rose

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	4. 5th June 1917 Jack

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5th June 1917

Dear Diary

You don't know how much I hate it here. I have to sleep in fear knowing that I could never wake up. I miss having Rose here by my side, waking up to her, kissing her, hugging her, everything about her. Most of the time we're just sitting here talking about; home, our wives and there was this one guy who had been here a while he had a wife and kids and now he's dead. I can't imagine the pain she's going through. I don't want to put Rose through that, I can't. I have to make it through this for her.

I've only been here a couple of days but it feels like I've been here forever. I just want to go home. All you can smell here is mud, human waste and decaying flesh it's disgusting. It physically makes you want to throw up, sometimes it even does.

For some reason just writing in here makes me feel better, but I know that it won't the help the war, I wish it could. I'm going to go now; I'm going to write my first letter to Rose, I miss her so much.

Jack

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	5. 12th June 1917 Rose

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12th June 1917

Dear Diary

Jack has sent me a letter I am so happy that he is okay, but not really happy about the conditions he has to live in it sounds disgusting. I just wish I could bring him home, and if I could I would march right up to Belgium and stop this war myself.

I am so glad that I have Emma to talk to, if I didn't have her I don't know what I'd do. She's going through the same thing as me, her husband at war, but at least she can rest peacefully knowing that her husband is going to come back home, while mine might not. No Rose, no don't think like that, please don't think like that. He's going to be fine, he'll come back he will.

I always sleep on Jack's side of the bed now, it still smells like him. I miss lying beside him, us kissing each other, just talking together everything. Well I'm going to go now; I'm going to start writing my letter to Jack.

Rose

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	6. 2nd August 1917 Jack

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2nd August 1917

Dear Diary

I've sent Rose a couple of letters now, and she has only replied to one and it's been months. I just hope she's okay; her letters and writing in here are the only things keeping me going at the moment.

The rats down here are disgusting. They're so big, yesterday I saw a couple feeding off a dead body; gosh it was disgusting; the smell and the sight of it made me throw up. Also my feet are always nearly in water, so I made this little hole thingy to stop them from getting wet, well most of the time anyway. I don't want to get trench foot like so many other people. All I can hear is just guns, bombs, men screaming, men screaming for help. Help that's what we need be are we going to get it, no. I feel helpless because I want to help these people but I can't. And again I count myself lucky, because I haven't got lice, yet. It just sounds so painful.

We had a gas attack yesterday, but it was this new one Mustard Gas I think that's what it's called. I was really lucky to get out unscathed. The problem is you couldn't really see or smell it, but this guy came running down through the trenches yelling at us to put our masks on, I'm so glad he did. As most of us managed to get out of the vicinity, I realized that this guy I had been talking to for the past couple of days, wasn't there. After things had died down a bit I went back looking for him. I found him coughing, spluttering and trying to breathe, so I picked him up to take him to the infirmary. All of his skin and his eyes were blistered, he looked terrible, but as soon as I started to walk he just stopped moving. I checked his pulse and there wasn't one. I felt numb as I still carried him like he was alive to the infirmary, when I got there they said he was dead. I still felt numb walking back to where I was supposed to be and then it just registered in my mind that he was dead. He had died in my arms. I threw up. It wasn't my fault he died, then why does it feel like it is? Maybe it's because he was a comrade, and maybe I should have gone back sooner, but they said not to as someone still got caught even when they were wearing their gas mask. So it wasn't my fault, it wasn't.

Oh God how I miss Rose, I wonder what she's doing now? I just want to hold her in my arms, make her and I feel better, kiss her even, but I may never be able to do that again. No, don't think like that Jack you will be able to do it again, just not for a really long time.

Anyways we are planning an attack to step into 'no mans land' or 'going over the top' I think they call it, well we're 'going over the top' to have some payback of our own. But that's what I'm really dreading, because of all the men that go up there only few return. Anyways I had better go now; I need to get as much sleep as I can.

Jack

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	7. 4th August 1917 Rose

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4th August 1917

Dear Diary

Oh God how I miss Jack, I miss kissing him, waking up to him, having him lying beside me. His smile, his voice, his everything, I don't know how I've lasted this long without him. Today I got two letters both from Jack, one of them got delayed as the date was last month and the other one was the first of this month. I was so happy to read them; his letters are one of the two things keeping me going right now. But I'm scared at what he has to do tomorrow. I'm really surprised that that they didn't go over some parts of the letter with a black pen, like they did to some of Emma's letters.

You'll never guess what I found out today! Well I've missed my period twice, and I thought that it was just because I was worried about Jack but then for the past couple of days I've started to throw up in the morning, I again put that down to being worried but went to the doctor about it anyway just to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. And guess what, the doctor said that I'm pregnant! I am so happy; I'm carrying a piece of Jack around with me and I never knew. I'm thinking that it was from the last night he was here, 28th May, which means that I'm just over two months along. I just wish Jack was here with me. I haven't told anyone, and I don't really want to, I want Jack to be the first person to know. I can't believe that I'm going to be a mommy, and Jack is going to be a daddy. I just hope he gets home in time; I know he wouldn't want to miss it for the world. We've always talked about having children and here I am pregnant and he's not even here. Well it's not his fault is it…

It's so quiet here without Jack, and I sometimes go over to Emma's house but, I feel like she's so lucky her husband is safe and when she goes on about how worried she is, I want to tell her to shut up! I know it's not very nice but, Jack is in much more danger than Daniel is. She should be lucky he only went to translate, I know I would be.

I feel so lonely without Jack here, I'm so happy but so upset at the same time. It feels so weird him not being here, I just wish that Jack was here to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. As I write this I'm laying on his side of the bed again, holding one of his shirts. It's the closet thing I've got to him apart from the necklace he gave me which I wear all the time. Jack has to come home, our love survived the freezing waters of the Atlantic and they're going to survive this war too…right?

For some reason I feel myself thinking more and more about Titanic. I said to myself that I would try not to as all it does is upset me; I almost died as did Jack. I don't know what I would have done if that had happened. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to my mother, I mean she was horrible to me for most of my life but she's still my mother and she gave life to me, like I will to this baby in less than seven months.

Anyways I'm going to go now as I have to feed two now and after that I'm going to write to Jack, I'm thinking about writing the good news in the letter but I'm not sure... I just wish that I could actually tell him in person, so that I could see the reaction on his face.

Rose

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	8. 4th August 1917 Jack

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4th August 1917

Dear Diary

The plan has been set, we plan to 'go over the top' tomorrow, but I don't know if I'm ready. I'm so scared, I just wish there was some way I could get home and see Rose. I just fear that I'm never going to see her again. I sent her a letter, even though she hasn't replied to the one before, as it could be my last one. I told her how much I love her, no matter what happens. I just want to feel her against my skin again, kiss her tears away, feel her lips against mine and tell her that everything will be alright. And if I get through this I'll feel as though I'm the luckiest man alive, twice.

The sound here is deafening, it's just all gun shots, bombs dropping, and the cries and screams of the people. It reminds me of all the screams I heard on the Titanic as the ship went down. I can't believe I came that close to losing my life staying in that freezing water. Problem is, those screams never leave you, the screams of the dying never leave you. Now I'm in this hell hole, being close to losing my life again. Well at least this time Rose can't get hurt. Going back to what I said about the Titanic, it holds sad and happy memories... I'm thinking if that freezing water didn't kill me, then this war can't either right? But just thinking about Rose or the Titanic or both at the same time does kind of help me get through this I guess. I just wish that Majestic Ship didn't have to go down to the bottom of the cold Atlantic Ocean.

Anyways I haven't been able to keep anything down lately, I think it's something to do with the food, but I know I'm not allergic. But I did hear someone say that rats had infested the food or something. I just hope that it doesn't develop into anything serious. Anyways I better go I want to get as much sleep as I can before tomorrow's attack.

Jack

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	9. 12th August 1917 Rose

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12th August 1917

Dear Diary

At the moment I'm worried sick because I don't even know if Jack is alive anymore. I was woken up this morning by someone the knocking on the door, no one had done that ages. I thought maybe that it was Emma, come to see how I was, or maybe Jack had come home…But no there was guy standing there in an army uniform, my heart started to race and I felt dizzy. He handed me a letter and took his hat off before saying sorry and leaving.

I slammed the door shut and sank down to my knees not wanting to open the letter. It had my name on the front, 'Mrs. Dawson' I felt so happy to have that name, but felt then that the person who gave it to me wasn't even here anymore. I slowly opened it and as I read it I cried, as I sit here and write this I'm crying. I may never see Jack again and it's all because of this stupid war, why did they have to take him? Why? What had he ever done to anybody?

The letter said;

'Dear Mrs. Rose Dawson

We are sorry to inform you but your husband, Mr. Jack Dawson, was last seen on 5th August 1917 and is missing in action. His last known whereabouts are unknown.'

That's all they told me, which isn't very much. I know it says they don't know, but where are they? Where? I feel like all my hope is gone, but I have to go on for our child, I am so happy that Jack gave me this child.

The last words he ever said to me were, 'I'll always love you no matter what happens.' Those may be the last words I ever hear from him. And the last words I ever said to him were, 'I'll always love you no matter what happens' as well.

Even though I feel as though he is dead there's this piece inside, telling me that he is still alive, and I'm just going to listen to that piece, hoping that it is true.

Well I'm going to go to sleep, at the moment I'm clutching the necklace he gave me which feels ages ago, hoping it will calm me down. I'm also wearing one of Jack's shirts as it sort of helps me to feel closer to him. I should go; I need to sleep to keep my strength up. Oh Jack, I know you're out there somewhere, I just know it.

Rose

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	10. 5th August 1917 Jack

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5th August 1917

Dear Diary

I can't believe I'm still alive after being shot. It missed my chest and hit my arm instead; I lost quite a bit of blood, but I guess I'm okay. It's just really painful now. I've had it bandaged up and the bullet taken out, but every time I move it, it hurts. Also I know now that I'm never going to go home. That attack earlier today, I'm going to have nightmares about that for ages… I saw three guys killed before my very eyes, two were shot straight through the head while another one was blown up, body pieces going everywhere, I really haven't had the guts to kill anyone. I was running behind this guy and he fell over so I picked him up, but before we on our feet running again, he was shot in the head, and his blood splattered all over my face, and I just stood there shocked. I can still taste the metallically liquid in my mouth; it just sends shivers down my spine whenever I think about it.

God how I miss Rose, I sent her a letter straight after I came back, glad to be alive. I just want hold her in my arms again, tell her everything's going to be okay, but I can't and I'm never going to be able to do that ever again. I haven't told her I feel like this, it would destroy her completely, and I couldn't do that to her I just couldn't. It's just that I've lost all hope of getting out of here. I've seen such terrible things. The last words I said to her were, 'I'll always love you no matter what happens.' Those may be the last words she ever hears from me. And the last words I ever heard from her are, 'I'll love you no matter what happens' as well.

I can't believe this is happening, I just can't, we have just been told that we're 'going over the top' again, right now. And if earlier today wasn't enough. I can't believe I'm being made to do this again.

And on the inside cover of this diary I wrote if found please return to Rose in Santa Monica and our address. I just hope that never has to happen. I miss her so much, words cannot describe it. I just want to feel her warm embrace, her lips against mine, and all that may never happen again, all…

…sorry about that, but I don't know where I am now, but anyways as I was saying before, and all that may never happen again, all thanks to this god damned war.

I have no idea where the heck I am, well what happened before was a gas attack, and most of the men including me 'went over the top' as it was the only way out and well we were going to do it anyway. All I remember next is running and then a German solider ran past me, I thought maybe he didn't see me, wrong. Then it all went black, I guess he knocked me out with the butt of his gun or something, and took me as a prisoner. That's probably where I am behind enemy lines. But what happens to me now, do they kill me, or do they keep me until the war ends which could be forever.

And that means I won't get any of Rose's letters and she won't get any of mine. I think that's all that's keeping her sane at the moment. I have no idea what time it is, whether its daylight or not, how long I've been out or anything. I just hope they don't kill me, and if they do that it's quick and not slow and painful.

How will Rose know that I'm here? Wait a second there's someone here with me…

…his name is Sacha and he says he's been here for weeks already. He has black hair and brown eyes, and he only looks about 17 or 18 years old. I asked him where we are, and he just proved what I wrote earlier, the Germans have captured me. I then asked him how does our family know we're missing, he told me that they will send a letter to whoever telling them that you're missing in action or whatever. God that's going to kill Rose, it may not say I'm dead but I might as well be because, they might not ever find me here. But he said it's doesn't matter to him none because he's got no family, only his cold-hearted grandfather who he doesn't like to call family.

Sacha is from Russia, but he speaks English really well and doesn't really have much of a Russian accent.

A while later Sacha showed me how to write my name in Russian as there was nothing else to do. It looks pretty cool actually.

I then asked him do we get killed here. He shook his head, and showed me a couple of cuts and bruises he had, and said they only ruff you up a bit. Anyways I had better go, I'm going to think of a way out of here and I'm taking Sacha with me. So I'm going to need all the sleep I can get in this hell hole they call a prison.

Jack

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	11. 14th August 1917 Rose

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14th August 1917

Dear Diary

I can't do anything without being reminded of Jack; it just fills my eyes up with tears thinking about him. I've been managing alright thinking about Jack up until now, I think I'm tearing up more than before because I'm further along in my pregnancy now. I know it probably sounds mad, but I can still feel Jack, so that must mean that he is alive, right?

I've got to try and stay strong and positive for the baby, I've been eating like I'm supposed to although I do get morning sickness and throw it all back up again, which isn't very nice. When ever I think of the baby it reminds me of Jack, which is good and bad. I hope that they've got Jack's eyes and he said that if we have children he hopes that they've got my hair. They would be such beautiful children, they really would. At least when I think of my baby it makes me feel better, as it's a part of Jack and I.

I've been looking at my wedding ring, more and more lately, as it symbolizes our never ending love for one another. And it makes me feel so proud to say that I am Mrs. Rose Dawson. I love writing it as well, so I think that I'll just write it again. Mrs. Rose Dawson.

As I think about this baby, and wonder if its father will be here when he or she is born. I'm again wondering where my mother is, and I know that she's not dead as it would have said so in the newspaper, well I think it would have. I just hope that she is being well looked after. Even if she was horrible to me, she is still my mother and I wouldn't want her to be mistreated, even though I was sometimes. But that wasn't entirely her fault…

I should stop thinking about that for now, and think about things that will make me happy. But then again I can't help but think about Jack, and how he will be so excited to hear that he has a son or daughter. It will be a bit extra work, but it would be wonderful if I had twins, a boy and a girl or maybe two girls. I wonder what I would call them, oh my I have to think of baby names don't I? That had completely slipped my mind. Well I won't think about that right now, as it only makes me sadder that Jack can't be here to decide what we should call our first born.

Oh Jack, I wish that you could come home right now, and I sometimes forget that you're missing in action. I just hope that you're not cold, hungry, hurt and or being mistreated as I would really hate that I really would.

I need to go out and buy some more food, I haven't been out since I went to the doctors ages ago, I can't believe that my food has lasted that long. I also haven't seen Emma in a little while…maybe I should pop round for a chat. Jack I love you so much, please come home soon.

Rose

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	12. 10th August 1917 Jack

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10th August 1917

Dear Diary

I am so lucky that I have a picture of Rose in this diary, as I would go mad without it now that I can't send her letters anymore. I wonder if they've sent her a letter about me missing yet, I hope she's okay.

Sacha's been gone for ages they took him out earlier today and I have no idea what they're doing to him. They haven't done anything to me yet, but I want them to leave Sacha alone and ruff me up a bit instead. I've voiced my opinions on this to them several times; I even tried to stop them taking him yesterday and got a few punches in the process. Sacha is still really young, he shouldn't have to go through this.We haven't been fed in three days and I'm starving, it looks like Sacha hasn't been fed in weeks. They probably feed us whenever they remember.

I miss Rose so much; I think I've got the date right I don't even know what time it is. As least there's not that much sound here, it's sort of quiet, you'll hear bombs or gunfire every now and again but apart from that, that's it.

They're just brought Sacha back, he looks pretty beaten up…I helped him to sit up and he's got a couple of cuts and bruises on his arms and chest. I asked him why they had him for so long, he said because they were trying to get information out of him that he didn't even have. I asked him if they would do that to me, he shrugged his shoulders.

I just hope Rose is okay, I would hate if something happened to her, even if it was a little thing because I wasn't there to help her. I wish I was at home, away from all of this, wishing I hadn't seen some of the stuff I have. I know it doesn't really bother me now as I'm living it but afterward it's going to haunt me. I just hope that I get to see Rose again, her beautiful smiling face, her blue-green eyes twinkling with love and happiness, her lovely red curls being blowing in the wind. I'm torturing myself by writing this, picturing her in my mind. I just feel so isolated from everything here.

I still haven't found a way out yet, Sacha tells me things, like what the guards do everyday and that could help us escape. I note these things down in my mind, hoping that I'll put a plan together soon, but it has to be perfect as if it's not I could get both myself and Sacha killed.

Since there isn't much to do here; all Sacha and I have been doing is talking. I found out that his mother is Japanese and his dad is Russian but he was born in Russia, and that his grandfather looks after him since his parents died when he was seven years old. But he isn't very nice about it, hitting him a lot of the time. I told him a bit about me, about my parents died as well, how I just travelled after that, but leaving the bit out about the Titanic and said that I met Rose in England and we went back to America and got married. He said that I was lucky having someone back home who cares that much about me, I could see the sadness in his eyes as he told me this. I felt really sorry for him, wondering why his grandfather treated him so badly.

Well I have no idea what time it is, but I'm going to sleep I am so tired, but as I go sleep I think that, that's another day where I haven't found a way out of here yet, another day where I'm not a step closer to getting to see Rose, it feels like I'm slipping away from her and everything else.

Jack

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	13. 16th August 1917 Rose

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16th August 1917

Dear Diary

I'm sitting here with one of Jack's shirts on, I've been doing this lately to feel more close to Jack; I'll wear my dressing gown draped over me, so that I'm not too cold. I'll just wear it around the house and if I have to go out I'll change.

I had to go out yesterday to buy more food. I also went to the doctors just to make sure that I was okay, he told me to try and worry a little less as I could harm the baby or even lose it, and I really don't want that. I'm trying my best not to by; thinking about names and what I could call her or him, and thinking about the good times with Jack, and trying not to think about where he is or what he's doing right now. This has proven to be quite a difficult task.

I don't really know what to do with myself, as I don't want to worry about him, but I want to know if he's okay and I tell myself to calm down as I want to keep this baby. But sometimes wearing his tops calms me down as it feels as though he is hugging me right now; I can still smell him from the shirt that I'm wearing.

I'm starting to show now, and I just know that when I go out next time I will bump into someone that I know and will have to tell them. Anyways I may need a friend to help me so I will have to tell Emma sooner or later. Oh Jack I miss you so much, please come home soon, I need you, we need you.

Rose

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	14. 12th August 1917 Jack

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12th August 1917

Dear Diary

Yesterday the guards came to yell at us for some reason, and we couldn't understand it because they were speaking in German. I think that they do that on purpose, because they can speak English as they've spoken to both of us before now.

I'm really hungry; they haven't fed us in ages. They're probably trying to starve us or something.

Earlier today the guards took me out for some reason and brought me to this room, and they just left me there while they talked in German amongst themselves. It was really scary as I thought that they were going to interrogate me, or beat me up. All they did was ask me questions I didn't know the answer to, and because I didn't they hurt me.They threw me back in this cell however many hours later, it most probably wasn't but it felt like that. At least now I knew what the place looked like out of this cell, and I added that to my plan on how to get out of here.

We're just really bored in here right now, as there is nothing to do except talk and then after a while you kind of run out of things to say. It's quiet now and Sacha's asleep. I try to sleep a lot of the time, as that way time passes quicker, but I find it hard to get to sleep, I guess I'm just nervous being here.

This is my plan so far; the guards come to check up on us every morning around 5am (Sacha knows this because he saw it on one of the guards watches). One of them will always stay behind to stand outside the cell. He generally sits on a chair and more often than not he will fall asleep. While he is asleep we could get his keys from his pocket and sneak out. But sometimes both guards stay and fall asleep, and Sacha suggests that when both of them are asleep we could hit them over the head knocking them out further and steal their uniforms. So then when we're trying to escape we wouldn't stick out, which I think is really good. We then have to try and find a way out, but we could look suspicious doing that. The problem is I don't even know if we're underground, Sacha says that we are. I asked him how does he know and he said that he just does. And that's all we've got so far, we have no idea what we're going to do after and if we get out of here. We have no way to contact anyone unless it's by telegram and we don't have one of those machines. That's the only thing we have to sort out at the moment, but we're still debating whether or not to dress them in our uniforms or not, as we will need them if and when we ever make it back to our bases. So we'll probably just leave them in whatever they have underneath, and take our uniforms with us.

All I can really do is write in here, at this rate I'm going to run out of pages…

I just hope that Rose is okay, I really want to see her, tell her that I love her and that I will never leave her again no matter what. I wonder what she is doing right now; I hope that she is okay even though she must know by now that I'm missing in action. I hope that she stays strong. Rose can hold her own ground she's stubborn and she's got this untameable fire inside her, which is something that I love about her.

Even though we have a plan to get out of here, I still feel as though it's not going to work and we're going to be stuck here...actually if we're found trying to escape more will probably happen to us than just getting thrown back in our cell. Sacha's awake now…we're just going over the plan again just to make sure that is it okay and that we're not missing anything out.

Jack

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	15. 18th August 1917 Rose

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18th August 1917

Dear Diary

I'm so tired today which I guess is due to the fact that I stayed up most of last night with a stomach ache. I didn't feel that well last night, I was just glad that I didn't actually vomit. I wish Jack was here to help me, to comfort me when I'm worried; he's so good at that.

I think that stomach ache that I had last night was morning sickness, but in the evening. If that makes sense. I will ask the doctor about it when I next see him. Hopefully it's nothing serious and the baby is still okay.

I think I'm doing well so far, I'm trying not to think about Jack, which is very hard as I'm ever so worried about him and I keep on running out of things to write about. As I've got hardly anything else to do...

I'm wearing one of his tops again today, I love doing this. But today I'm wearing one of my skirts instead of my dressing gown. I really hope that Jack does come home in time to see his son or daughter born. I know he would be really upset if he were to miss it.

Speaking of babies I still need to think of a name for our child. I like the sound of that our child. It makes me feel all giddy inside. Even though he's all the way in Belgium I still have a part of him right here. It makes me feel a whole lot better when I say it like that.

I just want Jack to come home now, I miss him terribly. I want to kiss, hug do any and everything with him. I love you Jack, with all my heart.

Rose

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	16. 16th August 1917 Jack

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16th August 1917

Dear Diary

I haven't written in here for a couple of days now. I guess that's where we were trying to rest as much as possible because we think that both guards will come today. Also they caught me writing in hear the last time I wrote, and they tried to take it off of me. Of course I couldn't let them do that as it had Rose's picture and the plan it in. I managed to get them to leave me alone when I took a few pages out from the back and ripped them to shreds before putting it away. They'll probably come back looking for it later, but I guess for now they were satisfied with that.

We think and we hope that we can put the plan into action today; we think it's near 5am, we're not sure. So we'll have to wait and see I just hope that today is the day as I'm getting sick of this place. And I'm sure that Sacha is already sick and tired of it as he has been here longer than I have. Shit! It's just one guard today, why couldn't it be two, we put our hopes us for nothing. Sacha told me not to worry, as this had happened to him a lot of the time, his hopes being held high then shattered. As he told me this I could see the sadness in his eyes again and wondered what he had actually been through to have a sadness like that in his life.

We started talking again, and he asked me how I met Rose. I just stated that we met in England. He asked me how. I sighed, wanting to tell him about Titanic but not knowing how he would react to my story…in the end I did tell him...he did look a bit shocked when I mentioned the name Titanic and that Rose and I were survivors. But he was also glad to hear that we both managed to get away with our lives.

At least we got a lot of rest, I needed that as I was so tired, and I think that they're going to come tomorrow. I hope that they do, I really do as then we can finally get out of this hell hole.

Rose I love you so much, I hope that you're okay and that you're not worrying too much. But don't worry Rose, I'm coming home as fast as I can.

Jack

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	17. 22nd August 1917 Rose

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22nd August 1917

Dear Diary

I've had terrible morning sickness these last couple of days, except now it is right before I go to bed. I even went to the doctor as I was so worried something was wrong with me. He just said that it was normal, and told me to drink some ginger tea or suck on some crystallised ginger. After I had seen him the shops were closed, so I plan on going tomorrow.

I feel incomplete without Jack; I want him to be right here beside me, holding my hand telling me everything will be okay. I want him to be here for the birth of our baby. Oh great I'm crying again.

Maybe I should talk about a different topic. I still haven't decided on a name for the baby, I haven't even got a list of names I would consider…When I go out to the store tomorrow, I'll go to the book store to see if I can find a book on names, I might even go to the clothes store to look at some baby clothes. That way I'll be doing something constructive with my time and my mind will be on something else.

I really do hope that Jack returns home in one piece, I really do.

I should just stop writing now and get some sleep; it feels like I'm going crazy by myself here.

I love you so much Jack, please come home soon, please.

Rose

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	18. 18th August 1917 Jack

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18th August 1917

Dear Diary

We still haven't been able to put our plan in action, which is really bugging me. As it's like when we didn't have a plan they'd come down in two all the time, but now it's only ever one. Sod's Law I guess.

Wait Sacha now has another idea, he says that we could wait until one guard comes knock him out, then wait for the other guy to come looking for him and then knock him out too. That could work as well, but that one is more risky as then when the guard could wake up before the other one comes. But I guess it's better than sitting here waiting.

The guards haven't come down today, so we're wondering if they're late today, which they never are. So maybe the wars over and they're being arrested and stuff. Hold on Jack; don't get you hopes up too high.

I just really want to see Rose again; I miss her so much it is unbelievable. My heart aches every time I think about her; I just want to feel her close to me, her lips against mine. I always do this to myself; think about her which makes me even unhappier that she's all by herself back there. I just hope that her and Emma are at least talking to each other, because then they'll both have company.

I hope Sacha's okay he looks really pale today, hopefully he's not coming down with anything. I'll ask him, but I know he'll just deny it anyway.

I miss you so much Rose, I really want to see you again. I love you so much Rose, with all my heart.

Jack

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	19. 24th August 1917 Rose

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24th August 1917

Dear Diary

I feel so much better now that I'm drinking that ginger tea. I only felt nauseous when I woke up this morning, but luckily I haven't been sick all day.

This morning I got the fright of my life all over again. Another one of those men came with a letter, I thought this time they were actually going to tell me that Jack had…I can't even write it now. Luckily it was for a couple of houses down, I hope that it says that that person was MIA, I guess it's easier to deal with that actually saying they're you know. But I guess if you hope and they never return that's worse isn't it…

On the radio this afternoon I heard that a bomb hit a German Prisoner of War camp and the captured soldiers ran away. They said they have only found the enemies dead bodies, none of our troops. Which is a relief, I don't think we need anymore people dying.

I hope that that didn't happen to Jack. As they said he was missing in action. I hope he wasn't in there. What happens if he's trapped under the rubble, and he can't get out? What if he's been wounded? Now, now Rose calm down, you don't even know if he was there in the first place. I just hope that he finds a safe place to stay until the war is over, or even better a way home.

I still haven't decided on what to call the baby. I don't want to name the baby something and then Jack doesn't like it. This is why he should be here and not wherever he is.

Anyway I'm going to go I need a break to calm down a bit after thinking about all of that. Now I'm really nervous. Jack please come home safe and sound I need you, I love you.

Rose

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	20. 24th August 1917 Jack

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24th August 1917

Dear Diary

I feel so alive right now, we finally managed to get out, but it wasn't due to our plan at all. A bomb hit the side of the building we were in and some of ceiling caved in which crushed the doors keeping us here. As we ran we saw lots of other people wearing similar uniform to us, so we guessed that they had been captured as well. So Sacha and I followed them and we came out to an open area, but in the distance we could hear gun fire. Sacha grabbed my arm and ran in the forest nearby, and when we got deep in the forest we finally stopped and rested. That's where I am now writing this. I just hope that this is another step closer to me getting to see Rose again.

Before Sacha and I were talking about how we were going to get home, as it wouldn't be far for him as he lived in Russia, but for me it would be as I had to get all the way to America. That means having to get on another ship, like the one coming here wasn't enough.

It feels like I haven't eaten in years, Sacha has just left to go and try to find something to eat, try being the keyword. I just hope that he does find something as I'm starving.

We are now hiding in another part of the forest, but it's the bit that's closer to where the all the fighting going on. When Sacha came back we had to leave as there were German soldiers lurking about and shooting anyone they found. Luckily he went to look for food, otherwise we'd be goners.

Sacha has two suggestions for us; either we go back out to the fighting and see if we can find our camp; or we see if we can get to the edge of Belgium which is near the sea and try and get a boat home. Sacha has told me that he's only going to see that I'm alright then leave. I just hope that we can get through the city without getting seen or captured again.

Hold on Rose I'm coming home.

Jack

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	21. 28th August 1917 Rose

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28th August 1917

Dear Diary

The last couple of days I've just being eating, sleeping, and reading that book I got. So far I haven't found a name that I like; I'm looking at girl names first. I don't really know why, I've just been really tired these last couple of days. The last two days the morning/evening sickness hasn't been as bad since I've been drinking the ginger tea. Either the tea is really working, or maybe it's letting up.

I'm three months pregnant now, and my bump has gotten slightly bigger. Maybe that's why I'm so tired and hungry, it would make sense.

I still haven't seen anyone, and no one has really come knocking at my door for me. I don't whether to feel upset or grateful that no one had come. I sort of feel upset as does that mean that they don't care about me enough to see if I'm alright? But I'm also grateful as then I can just be alone.

Maybe I should go round and talk to Emma, as she may need comforting as something may have happened to Daniel. Also it may help me to talk about Jack. Maybe we could even go shopping for baby clothes, or would that be too hard for me? But then again do I want to go over and tell her that I'm pregnant, when I haven't even told Jack yet. I guess I could hide it by wearing by wearing a loose fitting dress. I mean it might do me some good to talk to someone. Jack wouldn't want me to be cooped up here all the time. So I'll go and see her tomorrow, but I won't tell her I'm pregnant unless she asks. As then I won't be lying.

It's amazing; I haven't really talked about Jack in this entry. My heart still aches for him though, and I wish him a safe journey home. I love you Jack.

Rose

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	22. 27th August 1917 Jack

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27th August 1917

Dear Diary

It's been a few days since my last entry…we've just passed through Belgium. Luckily we managed to get through unscathed. The town was a mess; the buildings were bombed, leaving just rubble behind. Families were trying to live in and around the rubble, gathering the food they could. It broke my heart to see all those children with their parents scrounging like that. It reminded me of when I was living on the street; I know how cold it must be for them at night…

We are now staying in a warehouse near the dock, and are waiting for a ship. We have been here since yesterday waiting to see if a ship will arrive.

Sacha's just come back from looking closer at the dock; he says that a ship will dock there in about 15 minutes. So we got closer to the dock and got ready to board it, hoping that it would lead us home. Suddenly it hit me that Sacha was going the wrong way for home. I asked him about this, and he said that he didn't want to go back to Russia. He wanted to start afresh somewhere else.

Hold on Rose, I'll be home soon.

Jack

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	23. 1st September 1917 Rose

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1st September 1917

Dear Diary

My morning/evening sickness has now finally gone! At last I can go to bed without feeling nauseous. I went to see Emma on the 29th of last month, luckily she didn't notice. It turns out Daniel is alright and, because a bomb went off where he was working, he is allowed to come home. I am so jealous, I want to Jack to come home. I told her about Jack and started crying like I knew I would. She managed to calm me down, and said that anytime I want to talk to came round.

Even though she is a very good friend, I can't help being envious of her; because her husband is coming home safe and sound. While my Jack is still out there, most probably fighting for his life...

Please Jack you have to come home soon, please. I need you; I need to know that you're alright, that you're not hurt. I love you Jack, please return safely and soon.

Rose

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	24. 2nd September 1917 Jack

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2nd September 1917

Dear Diary

We're still on that boat; we managed to sneak on through the hatch where all the cargo is stored. So that's where we're staying, the cargo hold so that we don't come into contact with anyone. Luckily the ship that came was on our side, and it's taking people who have been badly injured home. But since there's nothing wrong with us, if they caught us we could very well be on a ship back to Belgium. Sacha has gone to see if he can get us any food. It's weird; he's the younger one but insists on doing everything it really should be me doing stuff like that. We stopped at England so that people could get off as well as to get more supplies about three days ago. So we've got about four, five days left until we reach America. Then I've just got to find my way from New York to Santa Monica again, which won't be that hard.

Sitting here in this dark place, leaning against the cold sides which lead to the ocean; it reminds me of when Rose and I first made love in that Renault. I haven't been down in a place like that since that happened... Hopefully like the boat coming to Belgium, this one will not come into contact with any icebergs or enemy ships.

Sacha's back, he's got two loaves of bread he managed to take from the kitchens. As soon as he gave me a load he left again; I wonder where he's going this time?

Oh well, hopefully he'll be back soon. It's actually quite cold down here, at least not as cold as it was in the trenches.

This is one of my only comforts writing in here, apart from talking to Sacha. As this way I can express my feelings without having to go crazy. The only thing I haven't been talking about in here is my drawings. I've drawn a couple since I've been in Belgium, and one from the docks we just left. It's hard as I don't have much paper and I don't have a lot of inspiration at the moment.

I wonder how Rose is? I really hope that she is alright, that she isn't worrying too much. In about a week I'll be with her again. I can't wait, I'm so excited. I'm going to be able to see her beautiful face again, run my hands through her fiery red curls. Hug her, kiss her. It's torture just talking about it now, when I'm getting closer to her everyday.

I wonder if Daniel and Emma are alright, I mean I hope that nothing has happened to Daniel. Not that anything could really happen as all he's doing is translating. But then again during war you never know…

Sacha's back and he's got a bag…he's brought us some clothes so that we don't stick out that much anymore. I wonder where he managed to get these from. Well I've got almost what I usually wear; a pair of brown trousers with braces, and a cream coloured long sleeved top. Along with a black jacket. Sacha's wearing a pair of workers jeans, a faded blue top also with a black jacket.

Hold on Rose I'm almost there, we'll be with each other soon enough. I love you with all my heart.

Jack

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	25. 4th September 1917 Rose

Hiya, sorry it has taken me so long to update this story...a lot of things have been going on some good, some bad but now I have gotten through that and am quite happy now! I've just gone through the story and made little changes here and there, but nothing that majorly affects the plot. Also the boy that Jack meets I have now named him Sacha. So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic.

4th September 1917

Dear Diary

I have this weird feeling that something big is going to happen soon but I have no idea what it could be, I had a similar feeling when I was on the Titanic. I doubt the war is going to end soon so it can't be that. Maybe I'll find that I'm carrying twins! I just hope this big thing is something pleasant…

I've been really tired today, I was alright yesterday and I haven't done anything strenuous…I guess it's all just part of being pregnant.

I just wish that Jack would come home, why did he have to go in the first place? Why am I'm going to start this again; I'll only end up in tears.

I've gone through all the girls' names and I like the looks of Lily and April, but I'm not sure which one I like best. I'll go through the boys' names later today or tomorrow. I'm just going to go and take a nap now as I can't stop yawning.

Please return home soon Jack, I love you.

Rose

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	26. 6th September 1917 Jack

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6th September 1917

Dear Diary

We are finally in America! I can't wait to get off of this ship. Then it's only just about two days until we get to Santa Monica. I can't wait!

Sacha's been awfully quiet this last day and a bit. I wonder if he's alright, whenever I try to talk to him he always ends conversations quickly as though he doesn't want to talk to me. I wonder if he's nervous about meeting Rose. I just remembered something; I never actually asked what class Sacha was. When we're all in army uniform we all look the same so I couldn't tell. But he has the same air about him as Rose does, so I'm guessing that he's also first, but he could be second as well.

Sacha's just asked me a question and I'm gone on the offensive here. He asked me if Rose's maiden name was Dewitt-Bukater. I didn't think that anyone would know that and I know that I've never mentioned it. And I'm wondering if he's working for Cal. He looked hurt when I said I didn't know who he was talking about, but then again maybe he knew her before Titanic as there aren't that many Rose's around, are there?

The ship has stopped now; hopefully we will get leave soon.

Finally we are on American soil, Sacha looks even more upset. He's always walking behind me now. I hope I didn't upset him. Right now we're just sitting on a bench waiting for our train to pull in. Luckily we've only got to wait half an hour.

Imagine, in 30 minutes I'll on a train home to Rose. It won't be long Rose before we'll be in each other's arms again.

Jack

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	27. 8th September 1917 Rose

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8th September 1917

Dear Diary

I was woken up from my nap this afternoon by someone knocking on the door, and wondered if it was Emma coming to see me…I know Daniel is coming back soon and wondered if they came round to see me. When I opened the door I stood there like a goldfish just gawping at the person standing there. It was Jack! Once I had gotten over my initial shock I hugged him so tight, but remembered to be careful of the baby. I was crying because I was so happy. When we parted I placed his hands over my stomach and he looked at me shocked while I just nodded and he hugged me again shouting about us being parents. Then we just stayed in each other's arms for a little while, relishing at the contact.

We parted and he turned to look at the person behind him; in the excitement of seeing Jack again I hadn't noticed the person standing there. Standing there was an adolescent boy. He couldn't have been more than 18 with dark black hair that looked a sort of blue in the light and mahogany eyes. He smiled slightly at me and said my name, it was then I remembered who it was; Sacha Volkov. I remember when I was 14, my father had made business plans with a man who lived in Russia, but was currently living in Philadelphia. This man had been Sacha's grandfather. So we generally went over to see them a lot. The man had spoken about having a grandson but had said that he was ill all the time. Me being curious went looking around the house and finally found Sacha's room, turns out his grandson wasn't ill, he just didn't want us to see him. I guessed it was because of the bruises all over him. His parent's had died the year before and then his grandfather had brought him to America for a while. We became fast friends, having the same ideas about the first class world we lived in. I would bring him books that I no longer read, and we generally just talked. He left and went back to Russia just before I turned 16 and then my life started to go downhill…It's really nice to see him again. We had a nice evening the three of us.

I'm so happy that Jack is finally home. I'm upstairs at the moment, supposed to be getting ready for bed while Jack shows Sacha to our spare room. I really want to talk to him about the names for our baby, and the two I've got in mind if it's a girl. I'll let him chose one, then we can go over the boys' names together. It feels as if I'm in a dream, and I keep pinching myself to pray that it isn't. Here Jack comes so I'll get going.

Thank you God so much for returning Jack to me and blessing me with this baby.

Rose

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	28. 8th September 1917 Jack

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8th September 1917

Dear Diary

I can't believe it, in 20 minutes we're going to pull into Santa Monica station. Then it's just a ten minutes towards Rose. I can't wait to see her again!

Sacha has mainly been sleeping these past two days, and we haven't really been talking. I said I was sorry for snapping back on the ship he said that I didn't have to apologise. I've also offered for him to come back and stay with me for a bit, until he can stand on his own two feet.

I can't believe that I'm sitting in the same house as my beautiful wife Rose. I'm finally home. We cried when we saw each other, she was so surprised. Me even more so when she told me that I'm going to be a daddy! I can't wait! I hugged her so tight, now I'm just wondering if it's going to be a boy or a girl, is it going to have my hair her eyes or vice versa…We just stayed in each other's arms for a little while after being away from each other for so long. It felt so good just to hold her. Rose couldn't stop crying in happiness. I then remembered Sacha was still standing in the doorway.

Rose looked at him a little confused which suddenly turned to shock, before hugging him. It seems that they did know each other before Titanic. Turns out Sacha's grandfather knew Rose's father and mother. They would often see each other to do business and whatever else it is rich people do. When Rose went round to his house because Sacha was usually told to stay in his room she would bring him things to play with, or talk to him. I'm happy that Rose has found a friend from her old world that isn't a total jerk.

Anyways I better go as it's getting close to night time and I have a present to give to Rose.

Jack

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	29. 4th March 1918 Rose

Hiya, this is the last chapter! I finally finished the story; I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic.

4th March 1918

Dear Diary

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on the 28th February and was allowed home on the 2nd March. We decided to call her April and she has Jack's eyes and has a few curls of strawberry blonde hair on her head. She is adorable. She is lying in her cot fast asleep at the moment. Jack is in and out of the room checking on her, I can tell he is going to be a great father.

We managed to get back into the swing of things a few weeks after Jack came back from war, which is still going on at the moment. I'm so glad that Jack and Sacha were able to escape it. Jack has had quite a few nightmares since being back and I don't blame him as I can't imagine what he saw while he was there. They're getting fewer and far between now, which is good. But I'm not so sure about Sacha, I can tell when he has had a nightmare as he's usually very quiet in the morning I ask him about them, but he shrugs it off and says he is fine. I hope that he will talk to me about it. He has a job now, and is still living with us. He started off making picture frames since he is good with making things out of wood, this helped Jack as then he didn't have to buy them when he sold them at the art gallery. Now he is making all sorts of things out of wood for people. He is always thanking us, and saying that he will repay us, and of course we say no. I know he wants to buy a place of his own, and I know that he can't live here forever but it is nice having him around. Hopefully he'll live near us.

The owner of the art gallery where Jack works wanted to leave and start a new life somewhere else in America, so he sold the place to Jack! It's great that he's doing what he loves, and now we have a bit more money which is an added bonus.

I'm so glad that my life turned out like this, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Rose

Hope you enjoyed this story, because I enjoyed writing it! I would like to thank; miss-cici, iknowaboutpopular, Lady Charlotte of Belgium for reviewing this story!

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